


The Science of Soul

by ChibiYoda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce's Sad Backstory, Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, Soulmates, This Is My Ship and It Has Wrecked Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiYoda/pseuds/ChibiYoda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To balance an extraordinary love, soulmates must first experience an unenviable pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Science of Soul

"I've seen extreme cases before, but never in someone so young." The doctor frowned, shaking his head. "We'll keep him one more night for observation, just as a precaution. But there really isn't anything more we can do for him."

As the physician left the Starks to themselves, Maria returned to the chair she'd slid next to Tony's bed. She brushed a lock of hair from her sleeping son's forehead.

Even Howard felt sorry for his son. That was saying a lot, considering the man had a deficiency in his capacity for compassion.

They'd rushed Tony to the hospital the day before, after the boy had collapsed. Tony had wandered into the kitchen, asking for a snack. While Maria was slicing an apple for him, he fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

This wasn't the first time Tony had to be taken to the hospital for a mysterious malady, but this instance was the most severe that he'd experienced. Usually Tony was able to pinpoint which area of his body was being affected. This time it was difficult for him to articulate it. His arm, his stomach, his back. The pain seemed to be everywhere.

 

_Somewhere in the world, someone was endangering Bruce's life._

 

He was admitted into the hospital, and a battery of tests were performed. Every single level, x-ray and sample came back completely normal. Just like the times before, no physical cause for Tony's distress could be found.

There was only one plausible explanation left at this point.

Tony had a soulmate.

 

Up until the day they meet, soulmates can feel each other's pain. Not the mundane annoyances like a papercut or a stubbed toe. Only the most traumatic injuries were the ones to reverberate across the force which connected two souls. Being that it was limited to serious events, some might only experience one or two occurrences before finding their partner.

Others weren't as fortunate.

 

They would try to explain it to him when he was old enough to understand. It would be too much for a six year old to make any sense of. Little Tony viewed a problem analytically. Things were pretty much black and white to him. 

This particular grey area seemed even more dismal than the color implied.

Maria's heart went out to her son, and to the other soul, whose life she now shuddered to imagine. If things continued on in this fashion, she feared the two might never even have the chance to meet.

 

Mercifully, these episodes ended when Tony was seven. Even as Tony matured, Maria never could bring herself to tell him what had been on her mind all that time. Instead, she had written her thoughts in a letter, which she kept in the drawer of her nightstand. She would wait to see if she was wrong about it all. Maybe Tony's soulmate had survived whatever ordeal they'd been burdened with. She hoped to god that they did. Every mother thinks their child is special, but Maria knows that Tony is, and that he'll need someone equally singular in order to be happy in this world. 

 

A few days after his parent's death, Jarvis handed Tony a sealed envelope with his name on it.

 

_"...I didn't want to discuss it with you when you were young. I wanted you to forget the pain instead of relive it. And after the incidents stopped, I didn't want to trouble you with a notion that might not have come to pass. But do know that you have a soulmate. I realize that's of little consolation if you never find them. But if you don't meet in this life, you will in the next. I'm sure of it..."_

 

After reading his mother's theory about what had happened to him as a boy, Tony laughed aloud. His parents were dead, and now his soulmate probably was, too?

Well wasn't that just lovely.

And this is what Tony believed for a long time to come.

 

Having dismissed the whole concept of a soulmate once and for all, Tony never suspected a thing years later, when he woke up in a hospital bed.

 

He had been in the middle of a board meeting when a sudden rush of excruciating pain swept through his body, engulfing every inch of his frame. He only tolerated it for a few moments before passing out.

 

_Somewhere in the world, Bruce had created a life._

 

In a foggy consciousness, echoes of the past triggered memories long forgotten.

"We've run every test imaginable Mr. Stark, and can't find any abnormality. We have no explanation for what you say you experienced."

This is what his parents were told so long ago.

Could it be that his mother was right about his having a soulmate, but wrong about their fate?

 

*

*

*

 

It was May. Or maybe June. Bruce not only lost track of the days, occasionally he wasn't quite sure what month he was in. Spending too much time away from civilization will do that to you. But isolation had been necessary, until he was confident enough that he had at least a modicum of control over his condition. And even then, he never lingered too long anywhere if he could help it.

That first time it happened to him, he was tremendously thankful that he was in one of those out-of-the-way locations. "Camping" was the polite term he used for it. Though an old tarp held up with branches and cooking with a flimsy pie tin screamed homeless drifter.

Out of nowhere, a crushing pain had instantly depleted his strength. His legs gave out, and he crumpled to his knees. Clutching his chest and gasping for air, he scanned the area. He could neither see nor hear anything or anyone. He quickly checked his body. No wounds, no blood. 

Confused and scared, he tried his best in his last lucid moments to calm himself. "No danger. No danger." he repeated. But his pleas weren't a satisfactory explanation for his dilemma, and Hulk burst forth.

 

_Somewhere in the world, someone was saving Tony's life._

 

When he came to, he was quite close to his campsite. After trudging back to it, he surmised that not much time had passed, as his little fire was still burning. It seemed that once Hulk had seen for himself that nothing was amiss, he uprooted a few trees to make a point, then settled back down. Bruce was relieved at that.

Then he focused on the episode that caused the commotion. He felt perfectly fine now. Looking down at his chest, he saw no sign of trauma. Not that he actually expected there to be. Maybe it was a dream. But he was pretty damn sure that he was awake when it happened. Having never experienced anything like this, he was grasping at straws.

There was one possibility that hadn't crossed his mind. And it wouldn't. Not even after a second incident a few months later. That time, Bruce wasn't as lucky.

He'd found himself miles away from where he'd been, and a swath of destruction around him. Hulk had run this time. He wound up at an abandoned mine. Rusty equipment had been shred to pieces and strewn about. An old jeep lay on its side atop a pile of rocks. Signposts had been torn from the ground and flung in every direction, like a friendly game of darts gone wrong. Hulk definitely had a reaction to something, but Bruce hadn't a clue as to what spooked him.

Similar to the previous incident, Bruce had been debilitated by searing pain. The only difference this time was that he felt it slowly creeping across his chest. He couldn't move, fought to breathe. And just as before, Bruce could not detect any danger to himself before he lost consciousness.

 

_Somewhere in the world, someone tried to take Tony's life._

 

It lingered in his mind for a few days, but soon the more pressing issues of watching his back and trying to earn a little money for food had completely taken over his thoughts once again.

 

*

*

*

 

Bruce had ousted the idea of a soulmate from his head once and for all the day Hulk appeared. Everyone daydreams that maybe they'll be one of the lucky ones. Now there was nothing left to dream about. He wasn't a kid anymore. No knight in shining armor had rescued him from the clutches of evil when he was a boy. And now he was a man whose very soul could twist itself into something ugly and terrifying. Nothing about him was normal. It was all wrong. HE was all wrong. How could his corrupted soul be bound to a pure one? It just wasn't possible.

But as Tony Stark stood in front of him onboard the flying fortress, Bruce caught a glimpse of light struggling to shine through Tony's oxford - and he _knew_. As sure as he knew why the grass was green and the sky blue, Bruce knew that the pain he felt a handful of years ago was this man's pain.

And as Bruce's eyes drifted from the glow in Tony's chest to the sparkle in his eyes, Bruce knew that Tony knew, too. 

They didn't talk about it at first. Didn't need to. The realization was enough comfort to enable them to focus on the task at hand. No use in finding your soulmate if the world was just gonna end in a few hours.

 

When the dust had mostly settled and new friends had gone their own ways for the time being, Tony and Bruce retreated to Tony's castle in the sky. (presently undergoing a facelift mind you, but still impressive) That's when the floodgates rushed opened. Bruce was still a little wary that his good fortune was all a mistake and would be snatched from him at any moment. So Tony's exuberance began the herculean task of boring through Bruce's trepidation.

"When I was six I broke my arm on the 4th of July. That's a pretty specific day. Do you remember that? Did you feel it?"

Tony seemed so excited, openly elated. Bruce didn't have the heart to tell him that back then he wouldn't have been able to distinguish Tony's pain from his own.

Instead he pretended to do the math, then smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes. Independence Day. That's a hard one to forget!" Bruce was rewarded with a twinkle in Tony's eyes that rivaled all the glittering fireworks the holiday could deliver.

 

They laughed and cried together as stories were recounted, questions asked, and truths told.

 

While Tony did his best to put a positive spin on it all, Bruce suddenly turned somber.

"Tony...everything I've put you through...all the way back to when we were kids...why did you have to get shackled to me? All I've done is hurt you over and over again." If Bruce could only reverse what he'd done to incur the wrath of the universe. But how could he have prevented himself from being born?

Tony watched Bruce thoroughly deflate. "Bruce, it's not your fault. It's ok." he offered softly.

"No it isn't!" Bruce's voice quivered, his body shook. "You're not supposed to put someone you love through so much agony! The beatings, Hulk..." Something else dawned on him. "Oh god, when I...'got low'...and tried..." Bruce held his head in his hands. "It was an endless cycle for you!"

Tony leaned over, and wrapped Bruce in his arms. "Shhh. Listen to me. I feel crappy for the pain you experienced because of me, too. But neither of us chose the circumstances that lead to the suffering. Outside forces at work there." He felt Bruce sigh against his neck. "So YOU didn't put me through anything. It was fate kicking us in the ass. Hey..." He slid his hands to Bruce's shoulders, gently coaxing him to meet his eyes. "All of that's over now that we're together. That damn curse is broken."

Stone-faced, Bruce spat out, "No Tony. It'll never be over for you as long as you're with me. The only difference is that now it actually WILL be me hurting you. Right here. In person. Maybe you won't feel my transformations, but you'll be subject to what they produce. I've gotten better at controlling him, but nothing is certain. You could easily get caught in his crosshairs. You'll always be in danger. Don't you see? I'm defective, Tony. Right down to my soul."

Though Bruce's appraisal of himself utterly broke his heart, Tony remained placid. He smiled warmly at Bruce. "Defective? No. Your soul is as pure as they come, my friend."

Bruce looked as though he'd just witnessed Tony grow a second head. Tony pressed on. "Hulk isn't a defect. He's all love."

And now that second head fell off.

"He was taking care of you until I could get there. He kept you safe for me. And then he turned around and saved my life. Twice. For you. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is."

 

Bruce felt time stop. Tony's words had filtered through the clutter in his mind, and he experienced a sudden moment of clarity. In a matter of hours, Tony had weaved an interpretation of Bruce's entire life that he never would have come up with on his own. Bruce had always felt justified in focusing on the negatives in his existence. It was his way of ensuring that he would continue to make amends to the world for the disaster his birth had brought to it. And now Tony had presented him an alternative. A possibility that destruction could be turned into defense. It's true. Hulk appears when Bruce is scared or hurt. When there is danger. And the way he acted while fighting the aliens suggests that he can sense the good from the bad. Bruce would most certainly need a whole lot of Tony's optimism to offset his deeply ingrained pessimism where Hulk was concerned. But what if he's right? What if Hulk is supposed to be a protector? What if he's...Bruce shied away from the term 'good'. Maybe not wholly bad? 

Realizing that he'd drifted off for a couple of minutes, Bruce turned back to Tony. He saw a face so full of hope it made Bruce's heart ache. Here was someone offering Bruce all the beauty that's been missing in his life. And he seems to think that Bruce can return it to him. Maybe enough was finally enough. Bruce wants to do right by the world, and the man before him is the only one capable of helping him do that. 

He was almost afraid to let himself wander down this path. Has he have finally paid just enough dues to be allowed such a wonderful thing? Tony certainly believes so, and Bruce believes in him. So he accepts that for better or worse, Tony has just become the center of his universe and it would be crazy to be anything other than ecstatic over it. He's incredibly amused over the notion that someone's world could revolve around him as well, but that's how this soulmate thing was supposed to work. And Tony seems enthusiastically ok with all of it.

Lord knows this wouldn't be the last time that Tony's conviction would carry Bruce through his apprehension.

 

To balance an extraordinary love, soulmates must first experience an unenviable pain.

 

Bruce and Tony will tell you it's a small price to pay.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure it was CrumblingAsh who first put the idea of soulmate pain into my brain.


End file.
